Caroline (vinctus) wrote,

  • Mood:

Yuletide Blues.

I was up at 4am again today primarily though because I needed to iron a couple of shirts for Chris and do some clearing up before I have to leave for my appointment and interview just before 10am, to be honest I am just wanting to get this over-with now and I am dreading the 2 hours waiting around I might have to face between appointments.

Yesterday did not go as planned. We were due to put the Christmas decorations up when we returned home from town but Chris flew into such a strop about money when I bought some stamps (I don't know how else he thinks we are going to send Christmas cards, we don't have a carrier pigeon) which made me feel rather low which in turn sent my mood spiralling to the point where everything was getting to me, I was missing my Mum so much and really wishing it wasn't Christmas. I can't really put my finger on what was upsetting me so much, I think it was just a mixture of things primarily just wishing some (not all) things were the way they were thins time last year when I could afford to buy.....everything I needed really, I didn't need to ask my fiance for money to buy stamps and I wasn't afraid to bring up the topic for fear of him going into one either and obviously my Mum was still here. Anyway, needless to say by the time we arrived back home I was in no mood to decorate the tree or hang decorations and now Chris isn't off work for another 7 days which also means I am back to being on my own again. All I can do now is try to keep my spirits up and do my very best at this interview today. I need this job so very much.
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